I Deserve This
by OblivyChan
Summary: After failing at saving his mother, Wally's father starts abusing him. Wally can't blame him. Not beta'd. Uploaded from my a03. OOC characters. Also a vent fic i wrote almost 5 years ago that im finally putting up now.


Rain fell in heavy, fat drops against the window pane. Wally stared at the window pane. His chest ached.

A heavy cold void swallowed his heart.

A heavy wave of nausea coiled itself deep in the cavern of his stomach.

He resisted the urge to close his tired heavy eyes.

Footsteps stomped up the stairs. Wally's stomach dropped. Cold sweat dripped down his back. He froze. He heard huffed breathes escape from the lips of a creature beyond his door.

He mulled over the excuses he could use. He forgot about the essay. He was too busy and got swamped by the other teachers. Maybe his teacher didn't input the grade just yet. He shook his head. His father doesn't do excuses. The fact Wally failed an essay in English. This past week particularly physically taxed Wally. He battled several foes on an empty stomach from dawn to dusk. He went to bed each of those nights after his father lectured him-which involved exhausted threats and ended with a few punches to Wally's stomach.

He forgot about the essay completely. His grade suffered for it-dropping from an already low B- to a D. His teacher insisted on sending Wally's father a detailed 'concerned' email on how this affected Wally's once immaculate grade point average.

Unfortunately, a simple email held the ability to set off his father-and it did.

Wally kept in mind to ask Robin to replace all emails and phone numbers to his Barry's later.

The doorknob jiggled. Panic rushed through Wally's body. His eyes glued to the window pane. He sat up rigidly in his bed. Flight and fight kicked in and Wally resisted the urge to run away or attack his father.

Please don't come in here, Wally gripped his bedsheets and squeezed his eyes tightly shut.

The door creaked open. Wally turned his head and he opened his eyes. His eyes met his father's. His father leaned against his doorway. Wally quickly shuffled off his bed.

"What's the meanin' of this?" His father growled.

Wally didn't say anything. He stared at Rudolph's bloodshot eyes.

"The West's don't fail," his father walked in and slammed the door behind himself. He crossed his arms. "I'm so disappointed in you. You act like a fucking idiot! Like you're suddenly so special for being a hero! Just like your fucking uncle! You always behave like him."

Wally clenched his jaw. He took in a deep breath and let go of the tension in his shoulders.

"You can't even defend yourself! You know it's true! Why do you even like being around the cock-sucker?" He walked closer to Wally and grabbed his arm. He yanked Wally onto the ground. Rudolph's foot slammed into his diaphragm. All of the air in Wally's lungs left him.

Wally gasped. Another slow, so painfully slow, kick slammed into Wally's abdomen. Fire smoldered over his abused stomach.

His speed made the world slow. Every hit took minutes to reach Wally.

Wally's father took a step back. He spat on his son.

"You're a fucking disgrace," he grabbed Wally's hair and hoisted him up. He punched Wally. Wally's head snapped back. "No one wants you. You should've died!"

The smell of alcohol permeated Wally's nose. Of course.

Rudolph threw another punch at Wally. He wrapped his hands around Wally's throat. He squeezed.

Wally gasped. His esophagus burned. His body struggled and he flailed. His hands wrapped around his father's. He squeezed his father's wrists until Rudolph let go.

His father shoved Wally away from him. Wally's head caught the edge of his nightstand.

Rudolph made a strange noise. Something between the mix of an animalistic growl and a deep scream. He glared at Wally.

"You weren't fast enough. You couldn't save her because you," he kicked Wally in his diaphragm, "weren't," he slammed the heel of his foot into Wally, "fast," another blow to the abdomen, "enough!" Rudolph backed up. He wiped away the sweat from his face.

Blood trickled out of the corner of Wally's mouth. He laid on the ground. Wally wrapped his arms around his stomach gingerly. A feeble method to protect himself.

Rudolph walked out of the room. He slammed the door behind himself.

Wally uncoiled and touched his own cheek gingerly. Fingers brushed over swollen, hot skin.

I deserve this.

Wallace crawled into bed and curled into himself. His face burned. His eyes blurred.

I deserve this.

He wiped his eyes.

Wally laid quietly on his bed. His body sore and unmoving.

His alarm went off and he quickly hit the snooze button. A zing of pain electrocuted through his ribs and up his spine. Immediate regret soon followed.

Hazy orange and pale yellow sunlight filtered into his room. He took a deep breath. Pain ripped through his side. He wrapped an arm around his abdomen and gently sat up. He left the comforts of his bed and limped into the bathroom adjunct to his bedroom.

In front of the bathroom mirror, he inspected himself. A large, ugly purple bruise stretched over his right jaw. He opened up his medicine cabinet and took out some cover-up. His speed healing won't kick in until he eats something. He needed the energy to fix himself up.

He patted the bruise away with foundation and a beauty blender, then he added a thick concealer, and finished it with powder. He silently thanked YouTube makeup gurus he watched to achieve normal-looking skin. He bought the items online a few weeks ago. Expensive, yes, but well worth the money. This also worked out for mysterious bruises caused by patrols and missions.

Today's agenda included going to school and then to spend the rest of the evening at Mt. Justice. Then the weekend, which filled with activities that involved Young Justice missions and Uncle Barry patrol time. A few normal days.

Wally shivered. He felt a burning need to go away. Go to the tower. To his home. Wally closed his eyes. He took a slow, deep breath in and slowly exhaled. His ribs and diaphragm panged abdominal region. He elected to ignore it.

Wally walked out of the bathroom and slid on some clothes that covered every inch of his body. He gathered his backpack and cell phone and walked down the stairs to the living room. His father should be at work by now.

Wally took a little time to clean up the empty beer cans and bottles that laid around the room. Then he went to the kitchen and made himself some eggs and bacon. He also made a whole loaf of toast. Wally hoped that it would be enough to heal his stomach and his face.

He quickly did the dishes before he left.

School felt livelier than home, but emptiness still ate away at his stomach. He put his earbuds in and ignored the student body around him. Emotional exhaustion left him unable to cooperate with any potential friends. Hell, he could barely keep up with the ones he got on his own team.

He walked into his first hour, and from there the classes droned on. From hour to hour. The same lifeless underpaid teachers dragged on about their subjects. Rowdy students rambled on in the backs of classrooms.

Wally sat in the middle of all his classes closest to the windows.

None of the classes particularly interested Wally anymore. He scribbled circles in his notebooks. Exhaustion eventually overtook him and he passed out in his third period-psychology. The end bell woke him up.

"Wallace-" the teacher called his name before he filed out of the room.

Wally turned around. The teacher was a fairly new one to the school, and new to the area. A young, sophisticated woman with several psychology degrees and an extensive therapist background. No one quite sure why she decided to give up better money for a teaching job.

"If you ever need to talk, my door's always open," she smiled sympathetically.

"Oh, uh, thank you," Wally smiled back. Teachers treated him awfully nice since his mother passed.

Does she know something?

Wally spent the rest of the day constantly checking on his concealer to make sure it didn't smudge. It never did.

By the end of the day, his bruise became a small yellowed spot on his jaw. Before he went to mount justice, he took off the makeup on his face. They'd notice it's application.

After school, Wally raced to Mt. Justice as fast as he could manage.

Relief washed over him when he heard the beautiful, gorgeous computer voice read, "Kid Flash B03". He zoomed into the room. His costume on and a backpack slung over his shoulder.

"Hey KF!" Robin called him over to the white sparring ring.

"Late as always, Baywatch," Artemis crossed her arms.

"Glad you could make it," Kaldur said.

Canary stepped into the ring. The white light glowed around her. "Let's not waste time. We have a tight schedule today."

"What? Is Batman gonna make us clean the Batmobile?" Wally stopped next to Robin.

"No, worse, he's going to make you clean the whole mountain," Canary said.

The team groaned. A wave of delight and familiarity washed through Wally. He needed this.

"Alright, before you get to cleaning, we are going to train. Today I'll demonstrate a few new-ish moves. For this, I will demonstrate with each of you," Canary explained. "Robin, you're up first."

Robin and Canary's match lasted three minutes. The only match that lasted any longer than fifty seconds in comparison to the next four. The other members not quite rebounding fast enough. Lastly, Wally. He strode up to the ring.

He watched her long enough to sort out this new move. The fighting move looked like something from a movie, but it did a lot of damage. It involved a lot of leg use and strikes to the stomach.

Uncertainty crept into Wally's curiosity. He ate enough today, didn't he? He couldn't possibly still have the bruises...right? His potentially cracked ribs must be healed by now.

Cold anxiety subtly ate at the edges of his stomach.

She swung first. He dodged. He used his speed to spin around her. He punched her side, but she managed to move around him. She then punched his stomach and he fell to the ground.

"Damn that was quick," he gasped.

Canary knelt down. "Are you okay?"

Wally swallowed back the taste of blood. "Yeah, you just knocked the wind outta me, beautiful," he smiled. He stood up suddenly and flashed next to his peers.

Robin raised an eyebrow at him.

"Let's pair up. Artemis and Superboy will start off; then Robin and Kid Flash; and finally Kaldur and M'gann. Let's begin," Canary ordered.

Artemis' and Superboy's match took the longest. Artemis tried to strike the giant down with quick blows, and when Superboy charged at her she tried Canary's new move. No such luck. He threw her against the wall.

"Sorry Artemis," Connor helped her up. She smiled at him and accepted his apology.

Now Wally's and Robin's turn. Robin knew how to handle a speedster. Anxiety gently ate away at Wally's abdomen. A tiny voice in the back of his head told him something's wrong.

A flurry of punches came at Robin, but Robin hooked himself over Wally's right arm and injured side. He jabbed Wally in the same side and kicked it for good measure.

Wally fell to his knees. His right oblique inflamed and aggravated by the constant assault.

Useless piece of shit body.

The cut inside of Wally's mouth reopened and he could taste it. He swallowed it back.

"Kid Flash," Canary stepped into the ring and helped him up. "Are you feeling alright? Do you have any pre-existing injuries?"

Wally laughed. "Well, I do now from getting my butt handed to me twice."

Robin crossed his arms and smirked. "What can I say? I got mad moves."

Kid Flash snorted. "Says the twelve-year-old-"

"Thirteen," Robin huffed.

"Kid Flash...go eat. Then go to med-bay," Canary sighed. "The next team begin your sparring."

Kid Flash zipped into the kitchen. He ate all the leftovers and then some. Food felt heavenly in his stomach. Then he remembered. He forgot to eat lunch today. He cursed at himself. No wonder his ribs felt awful all day.

Wally scarfed down all the blue food and leftovers in the fridge. He took some time to rest half his body over the island in the kitchen. He felt better already.

"Kid?"

Wally quickly stood up. Artemis leaned against the door frame. A noticeably foreign expression fell over her face. Her eyebrows raised and lips pressed tightly together. He rose an eyebrow immediately.

"What's up? Did something happen?" He forced his hands to stay at his sides. He didn't want to cross his arms and look cut off.

She shook her head. "No, no. You just...are you okay?"

He laughed. "Didn't know we were already getting that close, babe."

"No, like, ugh," she crossed her arms, "you look like shit."

He feigned horror. "Well then, babe, no hugs and kisses for you until you make it up to me!"

The corners of Artemis' lips rose and she quickly steeled herself. She shook her head. "Seriously though, Kid, if you need anyone you can talk to me."

"I always love talking to you," he rested his elbows on the island and leaned forward.

"Kid," her tone cut the mood. "Look, some of us might...understand what you're going through."

He tilted his head with his eyebrow raised. "Are you trying to confess your love for me?"

Artemis sputtered. She groaned, turned on her heels, and stomped out. Wally chuckled. A dull ache crept into his chest. He looked down at his hands and clasped them together. He knocked his knuckles rhythmically against the island table.

The rest of the day went by pretty quick-well as quick as a speedsters day could go. He cleaned most of Mt. Justice in record time.

Close to midnight, and it was time to go home with Uncle Barry...and convince him to let Wally sleepover.

Wally walked out into the streets of Central City. His uncle waited just beyond him. He practically skipped up to his uncle and his uncle flashed him a smile.

"Unc-uh, The Flash!" He grinned.

"'Sup, kiddo? How was training?" Flash ruffled Walley's hair.

"Canary kicked our asses and Artemis confessed her undying love for me," Wally said.

His uncle laughed. "Another confession? Must be the third one this week."

"The ladies love me," Wally grinned, "hey, wanna let me spend the night? We can get Chinese," He playfully elbowed his uncle in the stomach.

"Sorry kiddo," Uncle Barry rubbed the back of his head. "Got stuff planned with the wife tonight."

Wally's stomach dropped. A chill clawed its way into his abdomen.

"...Yuck, grownup stuff," Wally stuck out his tongue.

Wally saw a quick flash of what looked like uneasiness pass through his uncle's face. Then Uncle Barry smiled.

"Well one day you'll have a partner to do yucky grownup stuff with too," he turned to the street and gestured to the road. Wally nodded.

"Of course, but it won't be gross," Wally puffed up his chest.

"Oh, I see how it is. It's only gross if I do it," his uncle feigned mock hurt.

Wally laughed and sped ahead.

Wally waved his uncle goodbye.

As soon as there was no trace of his Uncle Barry, Wally let out a troubled sigh. He ditched his costume a few seconds ago and procrastinated on going inside. His dad's car parked in the driveway, and alongside it an unfamiliar vehicle.

Wally gulped.

He crept inside. Gently, he closed the door behind him.

"Wallace," His father grunted.

Wally shuffled into the kitchen.

His father sat at the table with two of his drinking buddies. Beer bottles covered the table and floor. The stench of cigarettes assaulted his sinuses. Rudolph's friends, men with beer bellies and bloodshot eyes, held playing cards in their large meaty hands. Their eyes stared at Wally.

Money and lotto tickets sat in the middle of the table in a messy pile.

"Come closer," he slurred.

Wally couldn't move. His feet felt glued to the ground. His body frozen in place. His heart raced in his chest. His mouth dried up.

"Wallace!" Rudolph's face flushed red. He took a puff of his cigarette. "Knock that shit off."

Wally stayed still. Rudolph huffed. He got up.

The sensation of burning woke Wally out of his frozen state. His father put out his cigarette on Wally's arm. Wally tried to keep his mouth shut. He couldn't. He screamed.

His father smacked him. A punch landed on the same side. Wally attempted to scramble away from him. His father threw him down and pinned him to the ground. Rudolph lifted up Wally's shirt. He placed the butt of the cigarette on Wally's stomach. Wally fought back the urge to cry out. His lips twisted tightly together. Tears fell silently down his face.

Each burn only lasted a few seconds in duration. Long enough to leave a nasty scar.

Eventually, he retired back to poker with his friends.

"Now that's how you put fear and respect into a child," Rudolph said. His friends agreed enthusiastically.

Wally raced up to his room. He needed to run. He couldn't. Ice filled his veins. He sat against his door and rocked himself gently.

After a few...seconds...minutes...hours of rocking, Wally took a deep breath. He rubbed his face and neck. He stood up. He went into his bathroom to investigate the damage.

An ugly black eye stared back at his reflection. Five ugly burn marks sat on the skin of his abdomen. Still not healed because his body gave most the energy he consumed earlier to running and training. His stomach growled. Two other burn marks lacerated his arm.

Luckily no more broken or cracked ribs.

Wally started the shower, and after he went to bed. He barely slept through the night. He jumped at every creak and groan the house made.

His alarm clock went off. He quickly hit the snooze button.

Wally peeled himself off his bed. Sweat stuck on his bed sheets. He wrapped his comforter around himself. He closed his eyes and pressed his face into the soft pale blue blanket. Cotton filled his nose. A sort of soft haziness filled him. He resisted the urge to fall back asleep. Wally grabbed his phone off his nightstand and turned it on.

The phone buzzed a few times. Three missed calls from uncle Barry and a few dozen texts from Robin and Roy.

He opened up Robin's first.

Dude, you didn't look so great today, are you okay?

Answer your phone! You can play nerd games later!

If you don't answer I'm going to sic Roy on you.

Wally smiled. The rest of his texts filled with worry and half-hearted threats.

He texted Robin: I'm fine. Went to dinner and a movie with my dad. Came home late lmao Ya don't have to skin me alive.

He didn't bother to read Roy's. The texts most likely filled with the same worry and filled with threats that Roy possibly planned to follow up on.

Wally texted Roy: Honestly, MOM, I just went out with my dad last night. Don't need to kill me.

He set his phone down and gathered his things. Another day spent away from home and with his friends. A day of kicking bad guy butt. Like a spa day for heroes.

Luckily, his suit will cover the burns. His accelerated healing didn't quite get to them yet, but the black eye looked better.

He put his suit in his backpack and quietly made his way down the stairs. He silently prayed his father wouldn't be here on a Saturday.

Hands shoved his back and he fell down the stairs. His face hit the bottom steps. His nose cracked. Fuck.

Hands placed themselves on his back and pulled him up. Wally turned around. His father glared at him in his post-drinking haze. Rudolph grabbed the collar of Wally's shirt and threw him into the wall.

"You haven't told anyone about this, right?" He asked. Wally stared wide-eyed at him. His body trembled.

"No, sir," Wally whispered.

Rudolph smiled. "That's my boy. Always knowin' how to do his old man proud." Rudolph's face changed. His smile now thinned out and eyebrows narrowed. "Did you complete your chores, yet?"

Wally hesitantly shook his head. "I was just getting to it-"

Rudolph punched him. He didn't quite aim it correctly and hit Wally's jaw. Wally's head smacked against the wall. His vision dotted with black spots.

Rudolph stormed back up the stairs. "Clean up!"

Wally's vision blurred out of focus. He clutched his head and threw a middle finger where his father used to be. Then Wally went to work. He cleared the living room of broken bottles of beer and intact bottles of beer. He made sure to wash the floors to get rid of the non-dried blood tiles.

The kitchen took the most damage. Blood stained the tiles and table. It appeared one of them must've gotten a bloody nose somehow and bled heavily at his side of the table. Big spots of blood stained some scratched off tickets that got thrown across the table. All of the money gone. Burnt cigarettes littered the table and floors.

Wally felt blood rise to his hands and face. He gritted his teeth and clenched his fist. Wally punched the table. His knuckle stung. The table grunted at impact, and his fist bent the wood in. He cleaned the place up. He took half drunken beers and dumped it out.

Wally rummaged through the cabinets and fridge and dumped out all the alcohol in the sink. He broke each bottle and threw it into the garbage bag. The garbage bags placed in the garbage cans out front.

Wally checked the clock next to the fridge in the kitchen.

If he went to Mt. Justice now, he'd only be a few minutes late.

His body screamed at him. He needed food. He swiped a few bananas gone bad and ate them, but a bundle of bananas didn't have the number of calories Wally needed. He stared at his kitchen table. The smell of pancakes filled his nose. He distantly heard his mother's laughter.

Wally shook his head. The hit to his head must've been stronger than he thought.

Wally zoomed out of the house and to the nearest teleporter. The nearest one, of course, cost him all the calories just consumed. The transporter located on the not-so-sunny side of town in an abandoned construction site. From there, he flashed into his costume and into the transporter.

He tripped a little coming into the lair.

His team stood around the control panels just beyond him. They greeted him. Except for Robin. Robin's eyes scanned over Wally.

"What's up?" Wally placed his hands on his hips and leaned back a little.

"Your eye, also your nose...what happened?" Robin crossed his arms.

"Listen," Wally got really quiet. The sudden shift in mood caught the rest of his team's attention away from the control panel and monitor. "Okay, so, like, don't tell the older superheroes, but I kinda-well I...dang, it's so hard because I know you guys will mock me for it!"

Robin's eyes softened. "Dude, no. I know it's hard, but you can tell us anything."

"Thanks, Rob," Wally looked around and approached his teammates. He bent his body slightly down much like a grade schooler telling his friends a secret on the playground. "I was running and I guess I went too fast this morning and kinda ran into the bathroom door," Wally stood up straight and scratched the back of his head. Artemis erupted into laughter. Wally smiled sheepishly.

"Holy crap, Kid Idiot!" She chuckled.

M'gann gasped. "Oh no! Are you okay?"

"Not really feelin' the aster now?" Robin smirked.

"Try to watch out next time," Kaldur smiled gently.

"How does the fastest kid alive run into a door?" Conner wondered out loud.

Wally shook his head.

The monitors flickered on. Batman appeared over them. He only appeared from the neck up. His signature frown deep and eyes narrowed in disdain or irritability.

Probably both, Wally crossed his arms.

"I have a mission for Young Justice," Batman said.

The mission was simple: gather intel about an unspecified island between Japan and California. The quaint island served as a drug cartel transport between Asia and America.

Young Justice took the bioship. Using its high stealth, the team came into the island undetected.

The team slipped out and turned on the stealth mode feature of their suits. All of the team's suits turned grey or black.

Alright, Kid Flash, scout ahead within five meters. Artemis, Robin, set up a few traps around the perimeter of the ship. M'gann stay with me. We recon in twenty. Kaldur ordered through M'gann's mind link.

Wally ran ahead. The thoughts of his teammates permeated less into his mind.

He felt weaker. He stopped running. His head spun. Inadequate nutrient intake ate away at his body. Images of food flashed through his mind's eye.

Kid Flash, we know you're hungry. You're always hungry. Artemis scoffed.

He rolled his eyes. Wally tried to take a step forward but tripped and fell to his knees. Vertigo overcame him. He shook his head.

KF? Robin's voice boomed through his head. Are you okay?

Kid Flash, you're super dizzy. What's going on? M'gann asked.

He shook his head. I'm really tired.

This isn't a good time to take a nap, Kid! Artemis yelled.

Wally closed his eyes for a moment. He heard a twig snap. His eyes widened. A small memory fell through to the cracks in everyone else's minds.

A hand reached for him in the darkness. It wrapped around his throat.

KF, what was that?! Robin shouted.

Ya know, the standard nine-year-old fighting bad guys thing. Wally replied.

A tiny brown squirrel popped out of the bushes. Wally sighed. Relief washed through his veins.

We're clear. Wally announced.

The rest of the plan went accordingly. They managed to take quality pictures of license numbers and of any emblems they saw.

At the end of the day, the team made their way back to the bioship. Wally remained silent. Robin kept glancing over to Wally but kept his mouth, and his mind, shut.

Wally's vision blurred slightly. He quickly scarfed down the extra food bar in the compartment of his suit. His vision cleared up and vertigo went away. His stomach twisted.

The ride home took too long. Wally went back to the makeshift medical part of the ship and laid down. His teammate's eyes bore into his sluggish body, but none of them got up to check on him.

Wally silently thanked them for not prying into his mind or trying to talk to him. His eyes closed. He slipped away in a soft wave of comforting nonexistence.

At home, Kaldur reported to Batman. Mission a success.

Wally spent the rest of the afternoon in the kitchen with M'gann. She cooked different recipes and he chatted about random things. She let him taste test blue colored Martian food and he gave her some critiques. Mostly to add some spice.

The room fell silent after a long conversation about a comic Wally recently gotten interested in. It felt comfortable. Wally let out a sigh of content. M'gann continued to chop up an onion. She looked at him.

"Wally," she timidly said.

He grinned at her.

"You know you can come to me if you need anything," her forehead creased.

He nodded. "Of course, babe! I'll always be happy for any excuse to come see you," he winked. She smiled. He looked at his hands that laid clasped together on the kitchen island. "Everyone is walking on eggshells around me."

M'gann bit her bottom lip. "Sorry. You just look...different?"

Wally forced back a glare. "Different how?" He forced a smile and started to flex. "Did you notice my rippling muscles, babe? Amazing, I know!"

"No…" her smile slipped off her face. "You've gotten paler...and you've lost a lot of weight."

He pressed his lips together. Wally leaned against the counter and stared off. "You know…" he couldn't believe the stunt he was about to pull. "It's just so hard since mom," he shrugged, "ya know…"

M'gann placed her kitchen knife down and turned to him. She hugged him. "I'm so sorry." He froze a little under her initial touch but melted into it.

"It's just...she always used to be there. Now she's not. I-I keep forgetting…" he squeezed M'gann closer to him. "I go home and I remember everything."

"You have to eat," she took a step back and crossed her arms. "You're a speedster. And my family. Please take care of yourself."

Wally nodded. "I'll do my best."

Wally spent the night in his room at Mount Justice. He ate the dinner M'gann served with Conner.

Now they sat around the living room's coffee table. A board game laid on the table. Scrabble. And M'gann already garnered one-hundred and fifty points in the first word.

"What the-this is cheating!" Wally sputtered.

"No, that's certainly an English word," Connor smiled.

"Back at home, I studied the language in my spare time," M'gann shrugged.

Wally gaped at her and shook his head. "Beauty and brains?! Save some for the rest of us, beautiful." M'gann giggled.

Wally looked at the words on his row.

K

He rearranged the letters. He spelled MILK, which left him with L O M.

He rearranged the letters again. Connor spent a decent time each turn, so he had time to play with each letter. He spelled KOI that left him with M.

Again, he rearranged the letters. This time he spelled MOM and KILL.

He quickly rearranged the letters.

"I'm suddenly not feeling too hot, Megs," he leaned away from the table.

M'gann's eyebrows rose. "Are you okay?"

He shrugged and slowly stood up. "I think I'm just fatigued. I need to lay down."

"Okay, well, sleep well!" M'gann's eyes softened. She worried her bottom lip.

Wally nodded and walked away. A sense of uneasiness pulled on Wally's shoulders. Lying felt cruel to do to M'gann. He didn't deserve her worry or kindness. He didn't deserve any of his friends.

He tossed and turned in his bed.

I'll tell them one day, he promised himself. Maybe.

Finally, he fell asleep.

Sunday, Wally spent the morning eating and training with Canary.

Canary appeared to have gone easy on him. Her blows lacked the flare she typically carried. Her fiery kicks softer. Movements slower. Her eyes softened when they met his. Wally brushed it off.

Canary praised his kicks and foot movement but critiqued his weaker punches. The comments rolled off Wally. No new news.

I wonder why canary is so distracted today, Wally kept the thought to himself.

Then, Wally went on patrol with his uncle.

"Ready to go kid?" uncle Barry asked when they both teleported into Central City.

"As ready as always," Wally smiled. They raced into the streets. Both speedsters came to a halting stop when the two nearly crashed into each other. In front of a bank. One that was being robbed. At that very moment.

Another fight with the rogues. Captain Boomerang and company somehow got a hand full of new techy explosives and wanted to test it out on the biggest bank in Star City.

It's large white marble walls glistened under the sun. It's walls immaculate despite the large gaping hole in its side. The structure appeared sound and stable otherwise.

Wally rushed over to Captain Boomerang, narrowly dodged a boomerang, and tackled him.

Someone caught him by the back of his costume and slammed him into the pavement.

"No hard feelings, baby flash!" Mirror Master chuckled.

Wally sat up and dizziness wracked his brain. A boomerang sliced passed him. It cut his costume and over the skin on his arm. Blood dripped down from the cut.

"Thanks, Captain Boomerang," Wally rolled his eyes. He zoomed behind Captain Boomerang. He got the man by the arm and managed to put cuffs on both wrists.

His uncle rounded up the rest of the guys and sent them off to jail.

"Another day, another dollar," Wally puffed up his chest.

"Let's get some food in ya, kiddo," Uncle Barry grinned and placed an arm around Wally.

After pizza, Chinese, and ice cream, both speedsters felt it was time to go home. Civvies replaced suits long ago. Wally's backpack felt heavier with his suit and gear stuffed inside.

Wally smiled at his uncle. He refused to let his face fall in front of Barry. He waited until his uncle left and disappeared down the block before he went into his house.

Inside, the house reeked of whiskey and cigarette smoke. Exhaustion fell over Wally. Fatigue clung to his bones and muscles. He cleaned the living room and kitchen. Most of the mess exclusively made of beer bottles and cigarette stubs. No telling where the whiskey might've gone.

He figured his father passed out last night in some bar or alleyway.

Better than staying here every night, Wally mused.

He collapsed on his bed. His body felt stronger than it did this whole past week. Full of food. Full of love. His heart ached. His eyes stung, but he shook his head. He turned to his side and shut his eyes.

He didn't know when, but he fell asleep.

Wally woke up in a daze. Someone shouted something at him. His vision cleared up. His father bent over his bed.

"-id you not hear a word I said?!" Rudolph screamed.

"I-i'm sorry. What, sir?"

Rudolph grabbed a fist full of Wally's hair and threw him across the room.

"Damn you doing nothing right in this goddamn household. Do I have to do everything?" Rudolph crossed his arms.

"What happened…?" Wally's throat burned and closed on him. Rudolph placed his arms against the wall for support and kicked Wally's face. The teens head collided back into the wall.

"You didn't do the fucking dishes once this weekend! Not to mention your goddamn uncle called me worried about you. Did you fucking say anything?!"

Wally shook his head.

Another kick to the head.

"I swear to god if you tell him…"

Another kick sent to the head.

Rudolph took a step back.

"And after all this...how fucking dare you live under my roof, eat my food, and not pull your goddamn weight!"

A kick sent to his abdomen. His stomach ached and stung. Wally curled into himself protectively. Blood dribbled from his mouth. His freshly healed eye began to swell shut again.

Rudolph stood back for a second and lit a cigarette. Wally stayed on the ground. Rudolph took a long drag. Then he kneeled down. Rudolph pressed the butt of the cigarette against Wally's temple.

Wally yelped.

Rudolph stood up.

"On your knees, boy," he ordered.

Wally crawled onto his knees. He turned around and faced his back to his father. His hands rested on his bedroom wall. Half his weight leaned against his nightstand.

"Take your shirt off."

Wally did.

Rudolph took off his belt.

The first strike hurt the worst. The anticipation of it always made it harder to bare. Wally gritted his teeth. His fist clenched tightly together.

The belt's metal clasp ripped into his skin. The leather licked his flesh and left angry red marks. He felt blood trickle down his back. His back stung like a million angry hornets shoving their stingers into his back.

"What do you have to say for yourself, Wallace?" Rudolph ceased whipping him.

"I'm sorry, sir," Wally's voice cracked. "Won't happen again."

"It better not," Rudolph threw his belt and stormed out of the room.

Wally leaned back on his heels. He gasped for oxygen. Every bit of air that surrounded him bit his fresh wounds. He fell forward onto his forearms. He covered his mouth with his hand. He needed more oxygen. His throats closed up. He couldn't breathe. Wally gasped and screamed into his hands.

I deserve this, he reminded himself.

His alarm clock woke him up. When did I fall asleep?

He stood up carefully. Dried blood caked his back. He waddled into his bathroom and took a shower.

His muscles ached everywhere, and even at the lowest setting, his back couldn't adjust to the feeling of water against raw skin.

He checked himself out after the shower. All his wounds still present. Confusion slipped through a layer of fog that racked his head. His fuzzy, unconcentrated head. His world twisted. Then he found himself on the floor. He let his head rest on the cool tile.

Sleep sounded easy.

When Wally woke up again, his mouth felt like a cotton ball managed to find a home in it. He grabbed the sink and forced himself up. Wally turned on the faucet and took gulps of water.

He went back into his room, locked the door by placing a chair's back under the handle, and collapsed in his bed.

Wally drifted in and out of consciousness. His brain felt warm. Invitingly warm. His heart beat slowly in his chest. It beat so loud it masked all other sounds. He melted into his bed. His body drifted between weightlessness and feeling like it gained two tons.

Cold struck through the hazy feeling. It pressed itself into his temple. It stung his face.

Wally opened his eyes.

A cold pack pressed against his cheek. Rudolph exited the room. Confusion wracked his head.

Rudolph came back into the room and sat him up. He leaned Wally against himself. Rudolph smelt like cologne and stale cigarettes. Water trickled down his back. Wally shivered. Pain scraped his back. Wally stiffened. Rudolph cleaned his son's back.

"When Barry comes, you got this from your last mission. You haven't been eating because you're sad and nothing's been healing properly, got it?" Rudolph growled.

"Understood," Wally's voice cracked.

Rudolph helped him into his suit. Agonizingly weak limbs barely fit into the spandex. The suit barely fit Wally anymore. It hung loosely from his body. His father grimaced getting his son into the suit.

Barry showed up soon after.

"Kid," Barry said out of breath.

Waves of dizziness crashed into Wally. Wally's eyes fell out of focus. Then his eyes closed and body dropped. Barry caught him. His eyebrows creased and he frowned.

Barry picked up Wally and cradled him bridal style. He zoomed off.

They traveled passed villages and cities. The fresh air of the woods soothed Wally. The scent of pine and warm forest floors relaxed Wally's muscles. His eyes peeked at his uncle.

Barry, his eyebrows narrowed and jaw gritted, glared ahead through the countryside.

Confusion dropped through Wally's mind. Doesn't Barry like the woods? He turned to look at the passing scenery. Then he closed his eyes. Maybe he just doesn't like me? Or my dad?

The overwhelming urge to tell his uncle what happened burrowed into his head. He needed to tell. The secrets bubbled under his lips. If he could only form the coherent sounds and just tell Barry. Cold settled itself back into his chest and ice filled his veins.

He ate the inside of his cheek.

"We're almost there," Barry said.

"Where? What happened?" Wally's voice sounded small to himself.

"When the cops were gathering up all evidence from our earlier fight, they got ahold of one of Captain Boomerang's boomerang. They checked it out. It was laced with poison," Barry explained.

"Poison?"

"One that slows down our accelerated healing ability. Like a more extreme version of a sedative for elephants."

Wally chewed the inside of his cheek again. He could've been found out...still possibly can happen.

Barry zoomed into a white room filled with medical supplies, a gurney, staffed with superhero medics, and Batman. The white room smelled like rubbing alcohol and a little like formaldehyde.

Barry placed his nephew on the gurney.

"How is he?" Batman approached Barry. Barry stood by the exit doors of the operation room. His face pale.

"Not too good. The cut on his arm must've gotten infected. He has a really bad fever," Barry frowned.

Batman nodded. The staff went to work. A sedative smoked through an inhalator mask wrapped around Wally's head. They long ago took off his mask and focused on ripping off the costume. Wally passed out a few seconds ago.

Batman and Barry stayed in the room. Barry observed the care the team performed when they scraped out pus from the cut and cleaned it. Then they moved on to the other wounds on his body.

A woman in mint green scrubs handed off a manilla file to Batman. Batman accepted it.

"They worked up a report fast," Barry commented.

"It's not typed up, but it is structured and coherent," Batman shrugged, "I prefer the best to work with my friends."

A whole team of white-cloaked doctors surrounded the kid and began to talk numbers. His temperature high. His blood pressure low. His heart weaker than regularly recorded speedsters heartbeats.

"Come," Batman ordered Barry out of the room.

Barry unwillingly sat on the bench outside of the hospital room.

"Flash," Batman turned to his friend. "May I talk to you?"

"Of course, what's up?" He asked.

Batman sat down next to him. "I saw the state of your nephew…"

Barry tilted his head. "Batman, I know you know everyone's identities-"

"It's not that…" Batman sighed. "Wally has marks all over his body. Something I know for a fact doesn't come from intel missions or battles with the rogues."

"What are you talking about? He gets bruises and cuts all the time. We all do."

Batman handed the manilla folder to Barry.

Barry took it cautiously and opened it up. Inside a file of Wally's health records. He flipped through the pages. Then he stumbled on...descriptions...of lacerations on Wally's back. Diagrams of genderless humans were printed on several sheets of paper. Injuries drawn over blank spaces. Several lines drawn hatched over the back of the diagram. Next to it an arrow and in black ink: OPEN LACERATIONS.

"What…?" Barry took out the photos. He flipped through more of the diagrams.

Cigarette burns covered Wally's abdomen alongside a large nasty bruise that went up past his chest. They noted his colorless pale skin, and that his skin clung to his bone. Underneath it, MALNOURISHMENT got underlined four times.

He ate not too long ago with me. Has he not eaten since? Barry chewed on his bottom lip.

He looked at Batman. "What's going on here?"

"I think Rudolph is abusing your nephew," Batman stated.

All the air in Barry's lungs got knocked out of him.

Wally…

Wally opened his eyes to the sound of a heart monitor beeping and hushed whispers. He slowly sat up. His muscles stiff, but no pain registered. He noted the IV that hung off his wrist. He ripped it out.

Wally swung his legs out to his side. He noticed sweatpants covered his legs.

His skin crawled. His limbs loose and limp with whatever painkillers they hooked him up with. Wally stumbled to the bathroom.

He stared at himself in the mirror. The cigarette burns lightener in color. The bruise on his abdomen and chest also less brilliant reddish-purple and more purple-yellow. The slashes on his back still very prominent, but not bleeding. Scar tissue raised from the strikes in its striated shapes. The new skin bright pink and puffy. The healing process almost complete.

Then the realization hit him. Barry saw the bruises, lashes, and burns. His shoulders stiffened and he walked out of the bathroom, determined to find something to cover it up.

His uncle sat in the chair next to the gurney. Heavy bags hung under Barry's bloodshot eyes. Barry's forearms rested on his knees, his hands clasped together.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Barry's voice echoed softly through the room.

Wally froze. "I-I don't know what you mean," he said quickly.

"Wally," he stood up. "The bruises, the conveniently cigarette shaped burns, the lashes on your back…"

Wally pressed his lips together. "I get those on missions."

"I don't remember you getting whipped during any of your missions," Barry's voice cracked.

"It's just a large scrape," Wally looked at the ground.

"Why are you-?!" Barry cut himself off. Wally shrunk and took an uneasy step behind himself. Barry pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry, Wally. I'm just...frustrated."

"I'm not protecting anyone...I don't know what to tell you," Wally took another step back. "I swear, Uncle Barry. I'm okay. It's just I haven't…" Wally barely whispered, "been eating."

Barry's eyes almost bulged out of his head. He sputtered. "W-why?!"

Wally looked away. "It's just...I miss mom, and when I do I...kinda stop functioning, ya know? I feel like I...I keep thinking that I…"

"None of it was your fault, Wally," Barry's eyes softened.

Wally shook his head and tears pricked his eyes. He heard her screaming. He felt the hot flames that licked his skin. He heard the mall they were in start to collapse around them. A spike of energy, adrenaline, entered his veins.

A terror attack on a high-class mall in America...who knew that would happen.

He got his dad out.

He couldn't find his mom. She separated from them earlier to look at clothes while they played video games.

He saw her. Trapped under parts of the elevator. A big piece of the ceiling fell. He was so close. He grabbed her hand.

Then the roof collapsed on them.

Wally got out alive. His uncle unburied him.

"-reathe," his uncle said.

Wally found himself curled up in a ball. His back pressed against the hospital gurney.

"Count with me," his uncle ordered.

"Seven, eight, eleven, two, three," Wally chanted before his uncle started. He repeated it seven more times. Panicked breaths ceased.

"Good job, kiddo. You're safe. Do you know where you are?"

"Hospital. With you," Wally stated.

Wally regained himself. His breaths leveled. He laid down on the hospital bed.

"I'm sorry," Uncle Barry frowned.

"You're okay. Canary said that the flashbacks might still come and go. It just gets less frequent when time goes on," Wally picked at the frayed edges of his blanket.

Uncle Barry stared at his nephew. His face unreadable. "I'm so sorry, Wally. You don't deserve any of this."

Wally felt the cold return to his chest. Anger and confusion gripped his head.

"I wasn't fast enough," Wally barely whispered.

"You did your best. You went your fastest-you had her. Wallace, you almost died protecting her. It was a miracle you survived."

Wally shook his head. "It doesn't feel like a miracle."

Barry sat on the edge of Wally's bed. He looked at his nephew-really looked at him. His nephew's eyes stared downcasted. Wally's fingers gripped the white blankets. His cheeks sunken in and fiery hair dull.

Wally looked like a walking corpse.

Barry's hand intertwined with Wally's.

"See Canary again," Barry said.

"Okay."

Wally returned to Mt. Justice. Ordered by Batman to remain there for a few days before he can return home. No training or missions until the poison left his system.

His uncle left some of his things inside his backpack alongside some books and homework.

Wally stared at his clothes that sat crumpled in a pile on his desk next to his backpack. He frowned.

He never got questioned where the lashes on his back originated.

Maybe they overlooked it?

Despite the normal healing factor, Wally felt fit and refreshed by his second sick day. He almost forgot about his messed up regeneration abilities.

Wally walked around Mount Justice in only sweatpants and lime green slippers. He wandered into the kitchen. Most of the team present. He yawned and sleepily waved at them.

Artemis stared at his chest. He puffed it up.

"Liking what ya see?" He placed his hands on his hips. She rolled her eyes.

"You look like shit," Artemis said. She crossed her arms.

"Well, it's typically what I'd look like without my accelerated healing," Wally shrugged.

"Are they all from missions?" Kaldur asked.

"Yeah, that and patrols," Wally grinned.

He turned around and grabbed some food from the fridge. He heard a soft gasp. Hands appeared on him. They grabbed his upper traps and squeezed gently.

A shiver ran down his spine. He stiffened. Goosebumps crawled over his skin.

"Wally…" M'gann's voice broke. "W-where are these from?"

That's right. The lashings. The wounds not so infected anymore. The wounds colored pink and puffed up in aggravation.

"Took a hefty fall out of two-story building during a fight with the rogues," Wally turned around and smiled at M'gann. "I'll be good as new as soon as the accelerated healing kicks back in."

"What did you fall on to create that scarring?" Kaldur asked.

"Probably glass or something. Wasn't looking at the ground at the time," Wally got out a carton of eggs and a package of bacon.

A speedster's breakfast. Nostalgic.

He took out a pan and spatula. Wally began to cook.

"Hey, Artie, aren't you supposed to be at school?" He asked.

"Oh," she frowned and looked away. "I, well, kinda ditched."

Wally tutted. "I know you wanna see me in all of my bruised and chiseled ab glory, but Batman is gonna kill you."

She sighed and crossed her arms. "Don't I know it."

"Wally," Conner cleared his throat. "Those...marks...they are inconsistent with falling on glass. They look more like you've been whip-"

"I fell," Wally said quickly.

He placed his cooked food on his plate alongside his now toasted loaf of bread.

Wally didn't look at any of them in the eye. He clenched his jaw tightly.

"I'm going back to my room," he stated and walked away from the group.

His teammates stared after him.

Artemis followed.

She leaned against his doorway. Wally plopped onto his bed and started to eat the truckload of food he made himself.

Large portions of scrambled eggs and bacon disappeared behind his greasy lips.

"Wally," Artemis said.

Wally finished off his plate. "I should've made more toast."

Artemis rolled her eyes. "Kid Stomach."

"What do you want, Artemis?" His voice came out more tired than he liked.

She closed the door behind her and stood in front of him. Her arms crossed. Weight shifted onto one foot.

"I'm worried."

"It's just my mom-"

"It's more than that."

Wally froze. He met her eyes. "What are you talking about?"

Artemis sighed and sat next to him. "You deserve a lot of good, Wally."

Wally rose an eyebrow. "Where's this coming from?"

"You didn't kill your mom. The bomber did," she stared into Wally's eyes. His eyes widened.

"Art-"

"Don't start with the bullshit, I know you blame yourself for it," She shook her head. "It's something you would do-something I would do."

Wally closed his mouth.

"You tried your best. You did what you could. And if your mom was alive she wouldn't have wanted you to risk your life like that. You almost-" Artemis' voice cracked. A blush crept across her face. She turned her head and coughed. "Sorry."

Wally stared at her. He took her hands in his. "Thank you."

She half smiled at him and bumped playfully into him.

"I know you won't feel like it for a while, but you do deserve good in your life."

That night, Wally dreamed that his father slipped into Mount Justice and beat him.

This time, Rudolph used his belt to choke Wally. He felt the belt wrap around his throat. He felt it get tighter. Oxygen escaped his lips, unable to be returned.

He thrashed against his dad. He sputtered and tried to scream. Even his hero strength couldn't compare to his father's strength.

A serial of knocks broke Wally from his nightmare. He clutched the base of his throat. Cold sweat beaded his forehead.

He looked at his door then back at his shaking hands. He gulped and took a few deep breaths.

I'm at Mount Justice. I'm safe. Wally repeated in his head a few times. His breathing became less sporadic.

With strength he didn't have, Wally walked to the door. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. He opened the door.

Conner stood outside his door. Eyes wide and lips partially parted. Eyebrows turned up.

"You were screaming," Conner said.

Wally laughed-more so out of relief-and rubbed his eyes. "Yeah, just, um, nightmares," Wally smiled.

Conner crossed his arms then uncrossed them. "Would you like to drink some tea or warm milk?"

A laugh escaped Wally's throat. His body trembled.

"I-I think I just want to be alone," Wally rubbed the back of his head. "It's embarrassing getting scared over stupid nightmares."

Conner shook his head. "It's a natural occurrence."

Wally nodded. "Right…"

Conner gave him a small smile. "Tea?"

Wally smiled back. "Sorry, I'm just gonna go back to bed."

Conner nodded. Wally closed the door before he could say goodnight.

He let out a relieved sigh.

The next morning, they didn't talk about Wally's nightmare.

Somehow it seemed that the whole team knew about it already.

Or maybe I'm paranoid? Wally thought.

He stared at his hands.

"...you do deserve good in your life."

The rest of the past few nights, Wally slept peacefully.

The week after, Wally noticed half his bruises and cuts disappeared. His healing process finally kicked in.

He put on his gear and joined Canary for a little light sparring.

His mentor went easy on him. She did a high kick and he dove under her leg. Canary flipped back and managed to grab his wrist. She twisted his wrist and flipped him onto the ground. He gasped. She stood back and offered an extended hand.

"Kid," she said softly. He shook his head and got himself up.

"I'm fine," he winked at her. She rolled her eyes.

He didn't take her hand.

The final day came. Wally woke up in cold sweat. His skin covered in goosebumps. A cold chill trickled down his spine.

Wally didn't want to go home.

He got up slowly. His joints cracked. Wally placed his hands on his knees. All the bruises and cuts and lashes disappeared. His skin, again, unmarred and perfect.

He pressed a hand to his nauseated stomach. The heat of his palm drove goosebumps over his abdomen.

He thought about walking. Another wave of nausea stopped him.

Eventually, he forced himself into his suit. He searched for his backpack.

"How did I lose the damn thing?" Wally muttered to himself.

Wally walked into the kitchen space. Robin perched on a counter on the kitchen island. Wally's backpack in the bird's hand.

"Lost something, Kid Idiot?" Artemis grinned. She sat on the kitchen island across from Robin.

"Hey! You left this on Supey's favorite seat. He almost sat on it before I came to the rescue," Robin grinned.

"My hero," Wally chuckled. He took his backpack back.

"Hey, kid!" His uncle flashed into the room. "Ready to take off?"

Wally glanced at his friends. Robin, Conner, and Artemis present. He smiled at them. His stomach sunk.

"See ya soon!" He smiled at them.

"Don't procrastinate to text me back!" Robin said.

Conner grunted.

Artemis just stared at him. A quick flash of eyebrows up, upper teeth gnawing lower lip, and shrunk pupils crossed her face. Then she smiled. All traces of the previous emotion gone.

Wally hid a physical shiver.

I don't wanna go home. Wally quickly squeezed his eyes shut, but opened them again just as quick. Too quick for anyone else, besides Barry, to catch.

"Race ya?" Wally gave his uncle the puppy eyes.

Barry laughed. "Sorry, as soon as we get to Central we are taking my car back."

Wally pouted his lips. He leaned over a bit and slouched his shoulders. "Fine."

They drove home.

In their civvies and in Barry's car, Wally hugged his elbows tightly to himself. He hoped his uncle Barry didn't feel the tension that rolled off of him.

Wally's mouth dried up.

He wanted to go back. His body trembled. He held himself in a vice grip. He leaned forward a bit. His head down and eyes focused on the ground.

"Wally?" His uncle asked.

"Y-yes? What's up?" Wally quickly turned his head to his uncle and smiled.

Uncle Barry frowned. "You're shaking and...you look scared to death. Do you want to share anything with me?"

A deep coldness wrapped around Wally's stomach. He frowned deeply before he placed a neutral expression on his face.

"No, why?"

His uncle sighed then smiled. "If you need anything, just let me know." He ruffled Wally's hair.

"Of course," Wally forced a smile. "A bunch of White Castle will do!"

Barry rolled his eyes. "How about I bring you over some of Iris' homemade cooking instead?"

Wally's eyes grew bigger. "Yes! That'll do!"

Barry pulled in front of Wally's house. He parked the car. Wally got out slowly.

"Hey!" Barry called out. Wally turned to his side. "I love you, kid."

Wally turned around. His eyes burned. "Love ya too!"

Rudolph came home drunk that night. Typical.

He broke the main door open.

Wally kept his distance. Hidden in the shadows of the living room. Rudolph waddled into the kitchen.

The air in Wally's body suddenly dissipated. He choked and gasped. He placed a hand over his own mouth. Rudolph froze in the kitchen.

"Is that you?" Rudolph whipped around.

Wally stood rigidly in the corner of the room. Rudolph's eyes squinted around the room. His eyes rested on Wally.

"Hey, fuck up," Rudolph sneered.

Ice crept into Wally's stomach. He felt heavy.

I deserve this.

"...you do deserve good in your life."

Heat spilled over the ice. Molten lava poured through his veins. His fists closed tightly together.

"Fuck you," Wally growled. Tears fell from his eyes. "Fuck you."

Rudolph stared at his son. His mouth parted slightly. His face turned bright red.

"How fucking dare you speak to me in that tone!" He shouted. He stomped towards Wally.

Wally dodged him easily. He went up the stairs and into his bedroom.

He panted. He clutched his chest.

I'm fucked, Wally panicked. He leaned against his door and slid down down it. Unable to catch his breath.

His door slammed open. He fell forward. Something slammed into the back of his head.

Wally cried out. He scrambled to his feet and dodged another hit.

What am I doing? What am I doing? What am I doing?

He kept dodging all of his father's swings. A metal bat in his father's hands.

Rudolph managed to land a blow into Wally's temple. Wally stumbled back. Vertigo washed over him.

Wally's head pounded. Cold fear clutched his chest. Another hit split his head. He laid on the ground. His cheek pressed against his soft carpeted floor.

Wally didn't realize he lost consciousness until he woke up again.

This time his wrists tied with duct tape and rope to one of the pipes attached to the wall of his basement. His shirt removed. The cold basement air ripped into his exposed flesh.

Cuts marked his body. A larger cut slashed open at his abdomen. Wally rolled his head back.

His muscles ached. Bones cried in pain. Fatigue permeated his body.

"You're up," Rudolph stated.

Wally rolled his head to face his father. The man sat on a metal fold up chair across the musty room.

"I sobered up," he stood up. "I decided I needed to step up my punishment if it wasn't going to work."

Wally glared at him.

He held up a whip with a thick, long handle and even longer, neatly knotted rope.

"My buddy used to teach his kids respect with this one. Loaned it to me since his are grown," Rudolph gently caressed the knotted rope.

Wally spat blood from his mouth at his father. "Fuck you."

Rudolph stood up. The whip cracked against Wally's abdomen. The previous wound opened.

Wally screamed. Fire burned his abdomen. The skin under the whip peeled off of his body. An angry mark scorched over his skin.

Another whip. More fire.

More whips cracked against his skin.

More pain.

His voice cracked. His throat hoarse.

The whippings stopped.

"Fifty lashings," Rudolph announced. "Are you done?"

Wally's head laid lulled back. Wide green eyes and dilated pupils stared at nothing.

"Answer me!" Rudolph shouted.

Wally jumped. He stared at Rudolph. He looked down at his feet.

"Speak!"

Wally snapped his head up and he glared at Rudolph. "You're fucked up. You're whipping your goddamn son!"

Rudolph huffed. "You're a monster."

"Fuck you! I'm human!"

Rudolph rolled his eyes and stood up.

"What would mom say?"

Rudolph's head snapped towards Wally. He ran towards his son. He punched Wally in the face. Over and over again.

"You don't get to talk about her! You killed her!" Rudolph pulled out his pocket knife and stabbed into Wally's chest.

Stinging. Fire dripped into the wounds. Then, numbness filled him. His body weightless.

Blood pooled faster down his body and onto the cement ground. Wally's body slackened. He hung by his wrists awkwardly forward. His eyes fell back into his head.

Wally's accelerated healing focused on the stomach wound before it got to the punctures on his chest. Dried blood caked down his chest and onto his jeans. Some lashings still bled.

The air smelled like freshly cut grass and wet soil. A warm breeze caressed Wally's face.

A blurry image of his mother's back stood on the top of a hill covered in green grass. He smiled. He started to walk up the hill, but with every step the grass got taller. He reached his hands up.

She turned around. She mouthed something to him.

Darkness clouded his vision.

Wally woke up in his own bed. He attempted to move, but his body refused.

Guess I'll have to miss school, Wally frowned.

He curled under his blankets. His eyes rested on his end table where his phone sat abandoned. He reached out for it and turned it on.

Several calls and messages popped up from Robin, Roy, and Barry. Even a few from Artemis.

He opened Artemis' first.

Hey, Robs looking for ya. He looks p stressed out.

Hey, you shouldn't ignore us.

Look, Kid Moron, text me back when ya can so I know you didn't die.

He smiled. He texted back:

Not dead. Slept hard though c; wish you were here xoxoxoxo

He pressed send and got an immediate response.

If you ever say that again I'm stapling your tongue to the roof of your mouth c; xoxoxoxo

Wally giggled.

I'm kinkshaming.

He put his phone down and swung his legs to the side of his bed.

Wally noticed his father put pajamas bottoms on him. His heart squeezed itself.

He carefully sat up. His ribs hurt and arms burned. His arms slackened and fell heavily to his sides. His legs screamed at him. He barely took a few steps and almost fell over.

Food.

He urged onward. His father already out at work. Wally forced himself out of his room and into his kitchen. He opened the refrigerator and choked down heapings of cold leftovers.

After his large meal, Wally sat against his kitchen cupboards. He gingerly slid up one leg.

"What am I doing here?" He asked himself. He rested his head against the wooden cabinets.

Sleep.

He shook his head. Wally stood up and walked up the stairs and into the bathroom. He bandaged all the injuries that took time to heal-like the stomach wound, the lashings, and the punctures. All wounds cleaned, gauze applied and wrapped up.

His face still bore a few yellowed bruises. His arms and stomach dazzled with cuts of varying sizes. Lashes still a bit pinkish, now cleaned, and nearly gone.

Then Wally walked back to his bedroom. He laid on his side. He stared at his neglected backpack. All homework already completed. He grabbed his phone.

A new text from uncle Barry.

I'm coming over.

Wally's eyes widened.

Newfound adrenaline pumped through him. He quickly threw on a long black sleeve turtle neck and cleaned up any blood he found. Luckily, whenever his father dragged him into bed, the blood on his body already coagulated by then.

The doorbell rang.

Wally hurried over to the door and took a deep breath. He opened it.

His uncle stood behind the door. A smile spread gently over his face. The smile faded.

A chill danced up Wally's spine.

"What happened to your face?" Uncle Barry asked.

Wally froze.

Then he slammed the door on his uncle.

Unfortunately, the door didn't close completely since Rudolph broke it last night. Wally cursed and ran into the kitchen.

"Wally?" Barry stepped into Wally's house. "Wally, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

Wally tried to force himself to hide. His limbs protested. Frozen.

Barry neared the kitchen and Wally gulped. Excuses ran through his head.

"Wally," Uncle Barry touched his shoulder.

Wally flinched. He spun around.

I need an excuse, need an excuse...

His heart pounded in his chest. Trembled breaths escaped his lips.

"Wally?" He took a step back.

Wally squeezed his eyes shut. He took a deep breath. "Sorry, I-I had a really bad dream last night."

Barry's shoulders fell and he pursed his lips. "No, it's okay...Want to talk about it?"

Wally frowned. "Maybe later. It's still kinda fresh."

"That's okay. Hungry?"

Wally spent the rest of the day with his uncle. The two went to a sushi restaurant. Then a Coney Island. Then a movie about an immortal superhero in red spandex with large orders of popcorn and candy. Then a Chinese food place. Finally, the two went back to Barry's house.

"Could I stay the night?" Wally pouted his lower lip and blinked rapidly.

Iris smiled at her nephew. She placed plates of pasta and sauce on the dining table. Wally's mouth watered.

"I'm sorry, but your dad called and said he wanted you home tonight," Barry shrugged sympathetically. Wally's eyebrows slightly narrowed and he frowned. His jaw clenched tightly shut.

Wally watched his uncle carefully. The man munched on a few dinner rolls. His jaw tensed with each bite and a frown touched the corner of his lips.

"That's okay," Wally barely whispered. He ate as much as he could. Spaghetti with fresh veggies and meatballs with plenty of dinner rolls and garlic bread. Wally ate past being full. Luckily, Aunt Iris made a ton of food. Especially pasta and bread.

That night, Iris didn't have to pack away any left overs.

"Hit a growth spurt?" Barry joked. Wally simply smiled.

"Yeah, got really hungry," he said.

Barry drove Wally home.

"Wally," his uncle pulled over in front of Wally's house. His tone stern. "Take care of yourself."

A shiver ran through Wally. "Of course…"

Wally slowly walked back inside his home. His father's car parked in the driveway. He took a few deep breaths. He walked inside.

His father sat on the couch in the living room. The television played football on it's screen. The stench of beer stung his nose.

"Kid," his father said. He patted the seat next to him.

Wally cautiously walked over to him. "Yes?"

Rudolph frowned. "Be a good boy, okay?"

Wally nodded furiously.

"You didn't say 'nything, right?"

"Not a word," Wally said quickly. His throat dried up.

"Good. I'm proud," he reached out a hand and patted Wally gently on the shoulder.

Warmth spread across Wally's chest. It disappeared quickly. The emptiness ached through him. "Remember, last night was punishment for having a smart mouth. I had to do it, Wallace. Do you know how hard it is raising a speedster?"

Wally didn't answer.

"Well it's hard. I've spent so much money on you. I've done so much for you. I've taught you so many important things in life."

Wally looked at the ground.

"Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Wally nodded. "Yes, sir."

"You can go back to your room."

Wally raced upstairs. He closed the door gingerly behind himself. His lungs squeezed.

Tears fell down his cheeks and he slipped down to his knees.

"Godgodgodgodgod," he chanted. Shuttered breaths escaped his lips. He rocked himself to sleep on the floor.

Another few days and Wally returned to school. With the excuse that he had immediate surgery on his appendix, his absent days didn't count against him or his grades. He caught up fairly quickly with his homework and managed to pull up his GPA.

Batman even allowed him to partake in missions by the end of the week.

Finally, the world felt normal. Even if he never talked anymore at home. Even if Wally refused to talk to anyone at school-unless of course when participating in group projects or when asked by teachers to answer a question.

The following weekend, Wally waltzed into Mt. Justice with his signature shit-eating grin.

"Kid Flash!" Kaldur walked over to him and gave him a hug. M'gann also enveloped the speedster in one of her tight embraces. Conner gave him a fist bump and Artemis grabbed his ear and joked how she would've kidnapped him if he didn't show up any sooner, and followed it by a light insult.

Wally's heart started racing. Cold sweat fell down his back. He needed to go. Now. Wally fought back the urge to run away. Why am I scared? Wally played with the neck of his costume, absentmindedly plucking the spandex.

Robin stood back a little far from the group that surrounded Wally but managed to steal a hug anyway.

Wally forced a smile. He could barely breathe. Everyone's presence drifted way too close to him for comfort. Wally needed space. His face flushed.

Robin opened his mouth. "Dude, are you o-"

"Alright!" Canary interrupted. "Batman has called for you, Young Justice."

Finally, everyone walked away from Wally to crowd around the giant monitors. He sighed in relief.

Waves of overwhelmed anxiety and sickness twisted Wally's gut. Batman appeared on the screen.

Batman discussed a recon mission. Wally didn't pay any attention to it. He wanted to curl up in his bed far away from everything.

"Kid Flash!" Batman shouted.

"Ah! Y-yes?" His eyes glanced nervously at the screen.

Batman's eyes softened a bit. "You keep watch out for your team, scout the area to make sure it's safe...the rest of you know what to do."

Wally crossed his arms. Recon?

In a blink of an eye, they were on the bioship and almost to their destination. Wally blinked.

Did I space out?

I think you did, M'gann's voice filtered through his head.

Haven't heard you talk all day, was starting to feel like somethin' was missing, Artemis commented.

Awe babe-

It only took you five seconds to give me a headache, Artemis thought particularly loudly.

He frowned. Bubbles of anger popped under his skin. He clenched his fist. Fine, whatever. I'll shut up.

Artemis' eyes widened. Wally?

He squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again. He sighed.

Do you need a break? Robin asked.

We have snacks in Miss Martian's cooler, Kaldur offered hesitantly.

Wally nodded his head in acknowledgment. He closed his eyes. He didn't want to participate in the conversation any longer.

The bioship found its destination: in one of Russia's many vast forests. A rural area with no city or villages on site for thousands of miles.

As soon as the bioship landed, Wally zoomed out of the ship. Fresh air wrapped around him.

He needed this.

I'm going on ahead to scout the area! He shouted at the others.

Come back in five, Kaldur ordered.

Gotcha!

Wally sped off. The cool air caressed his face. His chest opened up. Endorphins filled his body. Pressure, that he didn't realize existed, lifted off his shoulders.

He checked the perimeter around the bioship. No suspicious activity caught onto his coattails.

Wally tracked back to camp.

Once reported that the team was in the clear, the team moved ahead. Robin and Wally lead in front, Kaldur and M'gann in the middle and Superboy and Artemis in the back.

Halfway to the destination, M'gann stopped the team and made them splinter off. Wally reconned the area again, and the rest of the team spread around the edge of the drug dealers operation.

Wally sprinted off happily. His chest buzzed rhythmically and warmth filled him again. Freedom found him. He missed running.

He noticed a small number of black armor-clad brutes walking around the tiny drug shop. A small figure sat in the window of a two-story warehouse. The grey paneling of the building almost masked the figure. Something black slide out from the same window. A long black barrel.

Wally's eyes followed to its destination.

M'gann, Wally thought. She concealed herself in the brush of the wilderness, but no doubt did the gunman have a heat sensor. He ran forward.

As fast as he could.

The sound of the bullet going off didn't phase him.

The feeling of it entering his oblique didn't stop him.

Pain blossomed over his body. Wally ignored it. Instead, he zipped over to the gunman. He threw the man out of the second story window. Then he disarmed the man and threw him as far as Wally could.

The man slammed his head against a tree. Something in the gunman's body cracked.

Wally ran out of there. He checked around. A few other sharpshooters already took notice of the first guy's disappearance.

-ally! Kaldur called him from the mind link.

Eh? Wally got out of sight and hid deeper into the woods. Shots rang out after him.

Be careful! You almost got yourself killed! Artemis chastised.

Thank you for stopping the bullet, M'gann's gentle inner voice said.

Are you hurt? Kaldur asked.

Wally absentmindedly shook his head. He looked at the bleeding wound on his side and scraped off the blood. Just a few scrapes.

I have the bug in place! Robin's voice sang. Now to download some files…

They waited a few seconds.

We're good to go!

Wally sighed. An explosion of pain ripped through his shoulder blade. He grunted.

He whipped around himself. One of the black armored snipers sat high in an oak tree.

Wally charged up the tree and pushed them out of it. The person fell a few feet. A sickening crack echoed from the person's legs. The sniper screamed. Then he went quiet.

What was that?! Artemis asked.

We got snipers. One just fell out of a tree. Wally said.

Holy shit. They fell out of the tree?! Robin snickered.

We got what we came for. We should leave before things get ugly, Kaldur ordered.

The team pulled back. Wally managed to staunch the bleeding. The bullets still inside him. The grey and red of the suit darkened in patches surrounding the bullet wounds. His suit torn and ripped around the wounds. Wally's shoulder wound spilled dark red blood.

No time to worry about that.

Wally made sure his team got back safely. The gunman confused and unable to determine heat signatures thanks to M'gann manipulating their vision.

Everyone got on board. Wally sat in his chair, winded, and applied pressure to the bullet wound on his upper shoulder and then to his oblique.

He sat forward to allow more leverage for his hand to press against the wound. His eyes unfocused and glassy. Wally gulped. Disorganized thoughts ran through his head.

He didn't notice when his team touched base. He got up automatically when the door opened off.

Wally zipped off to his own room.

I just need a good nights sleep.

Vertigo grew stronger.

Wally woke up. He touched his head gently and slowly sat up. His curled body ached in protest. Wally noticed the familiar marble tiled bathroom floors. He must've passed out in his bathroom at Mt. Justice. His arm healed, but at the cost of losing fat he barely had.

He leaned back against the wall and sighed. He slowly stood up and walked into his room.

On the clock above his desk read 3:45 a.m. He stared at it for ages. He sighed. His chest numb and hollow, Wally put on his civvies.

He walked out of his room.

He didn't know where he was going. He limped past the common room and past the sparring area. His footsteps echoed through the rooms.

Wally shivered. Cold crept up his spine.

He needed to do this.

He walked to a random portal. Wally barely registered the computerized voice.

He appeared in a random, particularly run down area.

Inside the abandoned building, glowing iridescent stickers and paintings lit the room. Old arcade machines sat empty and covered in dust. Red spray paint decorated the floor and walls.

He found his way out through the back door. Empty buildings and abandoned shops sat with broken windows and boarded doors. Suspicious people shuffled down the road.

Wally kept walking.

He passed houses and homes and soon entered the business district. He limped along. The bullet in his oblique shifted around and burned his insides. The bullet in his shoulder also throbbed.

He didn't know where he was.

Frankly, he didn't care.

Attached to a side of a fairly large building were stairs. He climbed up them. The stairs climbed up the side of the building almost like a fire escape, but sturdier and for obvious use for its inhabitants.

After climbing around ten stories or so, he finally got to the roof. The stairs didn't necessarily climb to the roof, but it didn't take much to hop on top of the stairwell and onto the roof itself.

Wally overlooked the town. He got closer to the edge of the building. He slipped off his tennis shoes and stepped onto the ledge.

He looked down.

He didn't feel anything. Another wave of cold pierced his chest.

Wally's lower lip trembled.

He sighed and squeezed his eyes shut. Wally took a step forward.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" A hand pulled Wally back by his jacket.

Wally fell backward. He glared at Roy.

Of course the portal I pick is Star City's, Wally thought bitterly.

Wally sat up but got pushed down by Roy's hand.

"I'm not done talking to you," he growled. "Wallace, look at me."

Sadness, anger, and hysteria slammed into Wally. He glanced at Roy and tears flowed freely from his eyes.

"Why...?" Roy whispered.

Wally covered his face with his arms. He screamed into his arms. Fat tears rolled down his cheeks. He bit his jacket to muffle his cries.

Roy got up and pulled his phone from his pocket. He dialed a number and began talking to someone on the other end.

"Wally's hurt…" Roy crossed his arms and kept his eyes on Wally.

Wally continued to sob.

"He can't come to the phone right now…Look! He, uh...he tried to kill himself, Flash."

Wally froze.

Nononononono, Wally sat up quickly and glared at Roy. Roy rose an eyebrow.

Wally took off.

He didn't know where he was running, but he ran.

He ran faster and faster. Everything blurred past him.

The air felt good. His eyes watered.

His lungs squeezed and his feet hurt from lack of shoes, but he didn't care.

Wally ran.

Suddenly, someone pushed him.

His uncle knocked him over. He skidded into a freshwater lake. The force the of impact caused a wave to ripple against the current.

Wally sank under the water. He stared at the sky. The cool night sky distorted by the waves. Wally exhaled deeply, and bubbles traveled from his nose to the surface. Waves gently pushed his body towards the shore.

His uncle suddenly above the water. Wally felt himself get hoisted by a streak of red, and then flashed onto the shore.

Wally dropped to the ground. He coughed and sputtered.

"Wally…?" His uncle's voice cracked.

Wally froze. He stared at the white sand. His muscles ached and screamed at him.

"Wally...d-did you...why did you jump?"

Wally grimaced.

He sat on the balls of his feet and stood up. "I don't know."

"What?" Barry walked over to Wally and fell to his knees beside him. "What did you say?"

Wally shook his head. "I just...I-I'm sorry."

Barry hugged him.

Wally was suspended from the team. Ordered to only leave for school or to see Canary. Uncle Barry escorted him to and from school and Canary's office.

Wally lost more weight.

Bruises appeared on his face, and he didn't bother to cover them.

He told Canary nothing.

He couldn't. Where would he start?

Wally curled into himself on his bed. His grades slipped and the beatings increased.

He sat up and swallowed back the taste of blood. His lips split and eye bruised. He shivered. Bony, pale limbs covered themselves with his blanket.

His phone buzzed. It kept buzzing. His heart thrashed wildly in his chest. He picked up the phone and threw it into the wall.

Wally started throwing his things around. He cleared off his desk with one swoop of his arms. He threw the chair across the room. He punched the wall. Then he kicked his backpack. Its contents spilled all over the room.

Anger brushed through him. He gritted his teeth. He couldn't cry.

Wally sat on the edge of his bed. His chest numb. He squeezed his hands together.

"Wally, would you like to talk about the incident?" Canary asked. She sat back in her black seat. He sat forward across from her in a black love seat. His head in his hands.

I can't tell her, Wally thought. This is what I deserve.

"Wally?"

He shook his head.

"Okay. Would you like to tell me about your day?"

His father pushed him down the stairs earlier. It didn't cause much damage, but the fear and intent were still there.

"I went to school. I came home and did my homework. I went here," he whispered.

Canary shifted in her seat. "You haven't been talking to your friends at all."

Wally shook his head. "I get a billion texts from Roy and Robin, and a few hundred from the others, but…" he sighed. "How can I…"

"Talk to them about your suicide attempt?"

Wally nodded. "I can't…I can't…"

"Take all the time you need to," Canary said softly.

Wally sat back and looked her in the eye. "I don't think I'm going to make it out alive."

A flash of concern came and went across Canary's face. Her jaw clenched tightly shut.

"Is there a specific reason that you think you're not going to make it out alive?"

He smiled and shook his head. Tears stung his eyes. His father. His father will kill him.

"Let's just say I have a really good hunch," Wally's voice cracked.

Wally left a few minutes after that. Canary talked to Barry after his session.

He got irritated. He threw his anger at his uncle.

"Just leave me alone!" Wally growled. Barry locked the car doors.

"What are you planning on doing to yourself tonight?"

Wally crossed his arms. "I don't plan on doing anything to myself!"

Barry let out a sigh.

"Just leave me alone," Wally whispered. "Leave me alone."

Barry unlocked the car doors and Wally walked out.

Tears ran down his cheeks. His stomach twisted.

I deserve this. I deserve this.

Wally shook his head.

He decided to take a quick glance at his phone.

A single message popped up.

Come on, Baywatch.

He turned the phone around.

Exhaustion dropped into Wally. Lethargy took over his limbs. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath.

His door swung open. He didn't flinch. His father stood in the doorway.

"I received another call from the school. This time from your counselor," Rudolph growled. "She said she was worried about your health...did you say anything?!"

Wally shook his head.

"Speak!"

"No, I don't talk to anyone," Wally murmured and coiled into himself.

Rudolph hummed. He crossed his arms. "Your grades are slipping."

Wally didn't respond.

"Do you like the pain I inflict on you? Do you enjoy it?"

Wally remained quiet.

Rudolph stomped towards him and slapped Wally across the face.

"What are you? Some kinda fag?" Rudolph growled.

Wally rigidly sat still.

His father grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and threw him onto the ground. Rudolph kicked him once. Then twice.

Wally curled into himself. Rudolph slammed his foot into Wally's hip. Wally clenched his jaw shut.

The kicks stopped.

"Know your place, meta," Rudolph sneered. "No one gives a damn about you."

He walked out of the room and slammed the door behind himself.

Wally sighed.

He must've gotten bored, he thought numbly.

He leaned against his bed and glanced at his nightstand. Wally got up slowly. His muscles burned. The bullets still buried in his muscle tissue.

He limped to his bathroom. He took out some beige bandages and wrapped his dominate ankle-which took most of the blows.

He walked out of the bathroom afterward and was met with his father. Rudolph held a knife to his eyes. Wally took a step back.

"D-dad?" Wally stuttered.

"I'm so sick of you...you're a failure," Rudolph caressed the hilt of the blade.

"Dad! I can pull up my grades-"

"You can't even keep your mouth shut!" Rudolph shouted. "You can't do your chores when told. I was good to you, Wallace. I put a roof over your head and food on the table! And this is how you treat me?!"

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't apologize, because clearly, you don't mean a damn word of it. I should've let my buddies have you. Do you know what they wanted to do to you?"

Wally shook his head.

Rudolph sneered. "They wanted to fuck you blue. I said no because I'm a good parent. I said no because you were doing so well in school. I said no because you were a half decent kid...I see now I was mistaken. I should've let them do whatever they wanted to you."

Wally stared at his carpet. He tightly clenched his hands together. His body trembled.

Movement came at him. Wally quickly sidestepped away from Rudolph's attack. He swung the knife at Wally sloppily. Unpracticed.

"Don't you fucking dare!" Rudolph growled.

Wally's chest seized up. He couldn't think.

Another strike missed its target. Wally dodged another strike from the knife. Rudolph managed to kick him off guard.

Wally flew back and hit his bathroom door. Rudolph was suddenly on him again and shoved the knife into Wally's abdomen. The knife also then ripped out of him.

Wally's eyes widened. He slid down. A trail of blood followed him.

He shook his head. The world blurry.

Someone in black appeared in front of him. It crouched down. White-masked eyes met his own.

He looked familiar. The all-black mask ended just before an exposed mouth. The mouth moved. Wally squeezed his eyebrows together. He couldn't understand him.

Wally rested his head against the door.

Another white ceiling. His nose scrunched up at the smell of bleach. A soft beeping sound came from a heart monitor next to him. He squeezed his eyes shut then reopened them. Wally looked to his side. His uncle, clad in civvies, sat asleep half on his bed.

Dick and Roy, also in civvies, sat in the next two chairs. Their eyes trained on him.

"Hey," he whispered.

"Hey," Dick smiled.

"What…" Wally sat up. The memory hit him. "Oh…how?"

Roy smiled sympathetically. "Dick planted a camera and mic in your backpack, but it didn't catch anything until…"

Wally grimaced. "I...I'm sorry."

Dick frowned. "Don't apologize. You didn't deserve any of that."

"No, but I did-"

"Enough, Baywatch," Artemis said.

Wally whipped his head around. She stood on the other side of the room, leaning against the doorway. A cup of frozen yogurt in her hands.

She walked in and plopped the treat in his hands.

"It's chocolate," she commented. "I know the flashes have a habit of blaming themselves for not being able to save someone in time." She sat at the edge of his bed. "It's not your fault, Wally. I know I can't make you believe that."

Wally leaned against his headrest. "I failed my mother...I failed school...I failed you guys…"

"We'll work on school," Dick offered. "It's really not a big deal. Roy had to take algebra four times before he passed."

Roy glared at Dick. "How do you know that? Have you been going through my records again?"

"They don't matter anymore, right?" Dick shrugged.

Wally laughed.

The bickering stopped. The young heroes dazzled by Wally's laugh.

"Hey kid," Barry mumbled. He rubbed his eyes. "What's so funny?"

"Roy's too old to figure out Facebook," Dick said.

"I am not! It's just not a platform I give a shit about! Who even uses Facebook anymore anyway?" Roy roared.

Wally shook his head. "Don't get him started on Reddit."

"Alright, alright, visiting hours are over," Barry ushered the kids out of the room.

"I snuck in here fair and square!" Artemis complained.

The door closed.

Wally grabbed fistfuls of his blanket and pulled it up to his face. He closed his eyes and sighed deeply.

"Wally," Barry whispered. "Get some sleep. I love you."

Wally's eyes shot open and he looked at his uncle. "I love you too." Tears brimmed his eyes.

His uncle ruffled his hair and sat back in the chair he sat in earlier. Soon, Barry fell fast asleep.

Wally stared at his hands. The dull ache in his chest ceased with cool numbness. He almost felt warm.

A/N:

(This part of the story is written literally 5 years after I wrote this fic to try and tie up plot holes. I mean I can't really remember everything here and this fic is like almost 60 pages of stuff I dont really wanna read especailly bc it's unedited and I don't have time tbh. This part of the story below is about a year later from what happened above. Btw I wrote most of what was above from past experience, and this is a vent fic so characters sound ooc)

Wally paced. Black Canary leaned forward. Her lips pressed firmly together. Wally scratched the back of his head. He rubbed his face. He let out a shuddered breath and crossed his arms. He glared at his uncle who leaned against the doorway.

"How long did you know?" Wally quietly asked.

Barry looked away. "I'm sorry, Walls-"

"Bullshit!" Wally screamed, hot tears formed in the corner of his eyes. "You knew. You knew and you didn't help me?!" Wally crossed his arms. "That monster whipped me! It took me months to finally admit what happened to me wasn't okay!"

Barry couldn't take his eyes off the ground. His cheeks burned a bright shade of red. His lower lip trembled.

"Wally," Canary clasped her hands together.

Wally shook his head. "I don't want to hear it. I need an explanation."

Barry crossed his arms and squeezed himself. "You kept telling us it was patrol, but I knew it wasn't. Batman knew it wasn't. I convinced him I could handle it...but he obviously didn't trust my judgment call. He had Robin put in that camera in your backpack and I…"

"You blame yourself," Canary stated.

Barry nodded. "I couldn't save you in time. But you ate and you healed. I should've called child protective services or-"

"No," Canary interrupted. "Wally would've eaten a truckload of food and healed before the cops got there. And even so, how do you explain that level of regeneration to cops?"

Wally looked at his feet. "Yeah. I would've," Wally sat on the couch across from Canary. "I would've done anything to protect my dad."

Wally clenched his fist together. His anger seeped out of his body, and in its place, a cold familiar emptiness settled into his chest. Wally shivered. He folded his legs onto the chair with him and curled up. His head rested on his knees. Wally's eyes remained on the floor.

"I still could've done something. I could've asked Martian Man-Hunter…" Barry fell silent again.

Wally shook his head. "You're a good person, uncle Barry. You wanted me to open up to you when I was ready," Wally shrugged. "You just didn't know when I was ready. You didn't know that I'd never be ready."

"I let you get hurt…"

Wally nodded. "You did," Wally whispered. "But you didn't intentionally do it. You didn't know what to do. I mean, even if we're superheroes it's still hard to deal with stuff we save people from."

Barry nodded. "That day," Barry cleared his throat. "You fought back. What made you stand up for yourself?"

Wally smiled. He looked at Barry. "Someone told me I deserved a lotta good."

Barry relaxed. He uncrossed his arms and steadily walked over to his nephew. He wrapped his arms around Wally. Tears stained Barry's cheeks.

"I'm so proud of you. I'm sorry I failed you," Barry whispered.

Wally shook his head. "It's okay. I'm okay." Wally melted into the hug.


End file.
